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hey stranger, sit with me for a second

image of Thai An Le
Thai An Le

September 13

existential crisis and burning out
image of hey stranger, sit with me for a second

applications, polishing bullet points on resumes, and convincing myself that every waking hour should be “productive.”

At one point (super hate to admit this), I burnt out.

I do think burning out is a form of self fulfilling prophecy, but since I was doing it anyways, I realized I do have to take a pause.

Because the burning out wasn’t the glamorous, “I pushed myself so hard but look how much I achieved” kind of burnout (the kind I prefer), just the messy, tired kind where everything feels heavy, and even the smallest tasks seem impossible.

So this past Sunday, when I should have been working on finishing a project for my portfolio, I wandered into the park instead after getting some fresh bakes at the farmers market. I stretched out on the grass and just… looked up. The sky was wide open, painted with slow, moving clouds, and the weather was that perfect balance of warmth and breeze. For a moment, all the urgency faded, and I felt present in a way I hadn’t for weeks.

Maybe it’s the godly weather that day, maybe it’s the sound of leafs rustling at the perfect times, or adult and children having fun at the davis water park, I felt grateful.

Grateful to be under this beautiful sunny weather, grateful I decided to go outside to day and touch grass (literally), grateful for the cookie and iced tea I got.

I realized I’ve been drowning myself in tasks, forcing myself to be productive, and tricked myself

It made me realize something: pausing isn’t a distraction from productivity, it’s part of it. When we don’t give ourselves space, our work suffers. Our creativity runs dry. Our focus shrinks. But when we step away, even briefly, we return lighter, clearer, and strangely more energized.

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That monday, I blasted through all my jira tickets, applied to jobs, finish my projects and hit my PR at the gym all in the same day.

I think we underestimate how important it is to just be where we are. Not planning the next task, not replaying the last mistake, not obsessing over what comes after recruiting season.

In the age where media takes over, your brain is always noisy, and overstimulated.

So sit with me for a second. Slow down. Stop whatever you’re doing and jsut sit in silence for 10 minutes. Notice the air, the light, the sound around you. Sometimes the best way forward is to stop moving, at least long enough to remember that you’re here.

TLDR: go touch grass stinky.

productivity